I am a woman. I am an achiever. I am never satisfied.
A friend posted this picture on Facebook the other day and it really “hit home” to me. 
Like many other women and especially those either employed and/or surrounded by the fitness industry, there is a lot of pressure in regards to body image, appearance, weight, body fat, leanness, etc.  These concerns are in the forefront of my every day life. If my clients aren’t worrying about them, I am. 
The Sad Reality
I’m not sharing this so that you can all reply by showering me with compliments.  I am sharing this because I know I am not alone in my thoughts, and I know that some of you can relate. 
The reality of this picture is that for as long as I can remember, I have “hated” one thing or another about my body.  I’m not sure where it came from or when it even started, but out of the 365 days in a year, I’d say at least half of those days I have said one negative thing in regards to my body or my appearance to myself or to someone else (poor Rick takes most of the brunt).  I’ve made commitments to myself to be more positive, to stop the self-hate talk, to focus on my strengths.  It works for a while, and then before I know it I am consumed with comparisons to other athletes, trainers, fit women.  I look at them, and then I look at myself, and instead of embracing the good things I do have, I focus on the negative. 
All This Work…Where Are The Results?
I sometimes think about this girl my friends and I used to see when we worked at the rec center in college.  She was at the gym in the morning, she was at the gym at night, she was always working up a sweat.  And we used to say to each other,
“For as much as that girl works out, you’d think she’d look different”
First of all, I realize that’s a total bitch comment and secondly, I sometimes wonder if that’s me.  I work really hard to maintain and improve my level of fitness.  I eat clean 80 percent of the time, yet I feel like that’s not enough.  And what frustrates me even more is that I have friends who are not athletes, who workout a quarter of the amount I do, who eat whatever they want, and appear to look better than myself. 
When Is Enough, Enough?
A few years ago I remember hearing two older ladies (in their mid-late 60’s) in the locker room talking about “how fat they felt” and I clearly remember one saying, “I’m looking forward to my husband being out of town this week because I’ve been overeating lately, and when he’s out of town, I don’t eat as much.” I remember this clearly because I thought to myself, “Well, shit…you mean I’m going to have to worry about this when I’m 60!?” 
When I’m 60 I hope to be traveling the world, baking cookies with my grand kids, not food logging, not wondering if I should workout again because I ate a piece of cake or drank one too many glasses of wine!  When does it stop?
I am a woman. I am an achiever. I am never satisfied….
this makes me ungrateful
And as I type this, and with every negative sentence that comes out of my mouth, I think what a disgrace it is.  How selfish and ungrateful I am not only to myself, but to my creator who blessed me with this body, who gave me my strengths, who loves my weaknesses for all that they are, who can take all of it away in a second.
“If you base your value on your weaknesses, you will underestimate your value”Joyce Meyer.
I Will Run My Own Race
“We are uniquely designed to run our own race.
When we truly understand and embrace this, we won’t be tempted to compare or wish we had what someone else has. You won’t think, “If only I had their talent…” No, if God wanted you to have that talent, He would have given it to you. Instead, take what you have and develop it. Make the most of it. Don’t think, “If only I had her looks…” No, God gave you your looks. That’s not an accident. The life you have has been perfectly matched for you” – Joel Osteen
Peace.RunningMyOwnRaceOneDayAtATime.Love.