If you’ve been following Tell Me Mel on Facebook you have probably noticed this month’s theme is all about self love.

Why self love? Shouldn’t I be posting about health, fitness, and nutrition-related articles?

Well, no. Because while focusing on all of those things are awesome and will make you feel great, at the end of the day you have to live with yourself, the thoughts that consume you and the love (or the lack thereof) that you give to not only yourself, but to others.

I read somewhere a quote, “We often tell others things we need to hear ourselves.” I take this quote to mean that we are “the pot calling the kettle black.” Half the time my posts are reminders to myself, things I need to see, hear, and repeat and I share them with you in the hopes that it motivates and inspires you as well.

Last Saturday I started off my birthday morning with a workout that destroyed my self love.  It was my 8th workout of the week, my body was clearly tired, and every bar muscle up I attempted was either a fail or I had to fight for every, single bit. Instead of realizing that I was just fatigued from the week, my mind immediately went to, “it’s because you are too heavy to get over the bar.”  Poor Rick tried to cheer me on at one moment in the workout and I looked at him and yelled, “I can’t get over the bar because I’m a fatass!”  Seriously…in the heat of the moment, this is what I am thinking.  I let myself have a good cry when I got home and then got over it. Clearly, I needed to take my own advice here and find some self love, not hate.

I give you that example to share with you this: The more we cultivate positive thoughts and associations with our bodies, the more gratitude we show for what we can do vs. what we cannot do, the less likely we are to let the negative thoughts surface “in the heat of the moment.” Because those negative thoughts aren’t even true 99% of the time. Why is it so much easier to be hard on ourself than it is to be ok with ourselves? 

I love these examples from my mentor Jill Coleman; how to “Quit Obsessing”

“Ultimately it’s about a choice to look in the mirror and decide:

You’re grateful for things other than your physique.What can you offer the world besides your body?

You’re capable.

You can add value outside of walking around at your leanest body. Your husband, significant other, children, friends most likely don’t love you any less when you aren’t walking around at 10%, 15%, 20% body fat, with or without a 6-pack, etc…

You don’t want to perpetuate the idea of dissatisfaction to your clients/family/children.”

Poor self image is more contagious than you know. When you outwardly dog and doubt yourself it’s not only unattractive, but it causes others to find dissatisfaction within themselves.  And that sucks! We should be helping others feel better about themselves, not worse with our infectious, Debbie Downer attitudes.

You don’t have to be perfect to be satisfied. My goal this month is to make it easier for us to be ok with ourselves and where we are vs. hard on ourselves for where we are not.

Cultivate self love. Water it. Feed it. Renew it. And then share that love with others.