I WILL NOT COMPARE MYSELF TO MY PRE-BABY ABILITIES. I WILL NOT COMPARE MYSELF TO MY PRE-BABY STRENGTHS. I WILL NOT COMAPRE MYSELF TO MY PRE-BABY BODY.
I’M DOING THE BEST THAT I CAN.
This phrase has been popping up in my head over and over the past two weeks; in fact it’s so relevant in my life right now that I think it will unofficially be my 2016 mantra: “You’re Doing the Best You Can.”
Two weeks ago I decided it was time to take my training more seriously. I had been working out throughout my pregnancy and post, but wasn’t really following any certain training program; I didn’t really have any goals other than to just move my body. My plan was to give myself plenty of time to recover postpartum and to start around 12 weeks. I knew that if I jumped into regular CrossFit classes before then I would push myself harder than my body needed and I wanted to be fully recovered and ready.
So, here we are 16 weeks postpartum, in week 3 of a personalized training program that includes working on both my strengths and weaknesses. Although, these days (aside from running) it seems like I have more weaknesses than strengths and while I’m ready to tackle them day by day, what I wasn’t prepared for was all the mind games that came with jumping back into working out more seriously. I have this unspoken pressure on myself to do what I was doing before, to immediately pick up where I left off, and to be amazing right this second. You guys, I know better. I know these things take time. I realize my body was carrying a human for 9+ months just 3 and a half months ago.
I have to continually remind myself, “You’re doing the best you can” and it hasn’t been only in my workouts but in being a mother, a wife, and in my career.
When I have to load lighter weight on the bar. When I don’t finish the workout under the time cap, When it takes me multiple tries to do something I could do in just one before – “You’re doing the best you can.”
When I’m running late to work with Pepper screaming in the backseat because she hasn’t eaten in 3 hours and I have to pull over to feed her in the parking lot along the way; making me even later – “You’re doing the best you can.”
When Pepper cries (as babies do) in the middle of training a client and I feel both terrible and unprofessional – “You’re doing the best you can.”
Going back in forth in my mind of whether or not I need to diet. Trying to honor my body and giving it time to get back to it’s “normal” state, feeling the FOMO pressure of all the other people in the gym doing the fat loss program I wrote about last week (here). But again knowing deep down I don’t have the headspace for it. “ You’re doing the best you can.”
Wanting to write more; knowing I need to be writing daily yet knowing I need to also squeeze in workouts and play time and nap time with my baby. – “You’re doing the best you can.”
Seeing that other people’s babies are sleeping 8+ hours through the night and having a baby that still eats pretty much every 3-4 hours. “You’re doing the best you can”.
All day; every day…. “You’re doing the best you can.”
Two weeks ago, Julie Richard, Fearless Mom leader – a group of which I am a part of through Lake Hills Church gave a phenomenal talk on the value of struggle in parenting, marriage, and life. It came at just the right time and was exactly what I need to hear. You can listen to the full message here. But what I really loved most was the definition she shared from the word; GRIT.
GRIT “the passion and perseverance for long term goals; willingness to work hard to make your desired future a reality – having the stamina to stick with it despite the struggle.”
“Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” – Galatians 6:9.
I love that this verse does not say “let us not grow weary in being perfect” rather in most translations the word good or right is used. Day by day, we shall not grow weary of doing good and letting good enough be good enough. Doing the best that I can and you doing the best that you can are most likely and should be two different things – it’s just not always easy to remember that.
I’m not training to be the best CrossFitter, nor am I trying to be the best athlete. I’m not trying to win the best mom or parenting award, and I’m not trying to get the best post-baby body. I’m simply trying to do the best that I can day by day. And some days my best is different than the day before. All I can do; all you can do is remember to get down and “gritty” with it: stick with it; all of it – despite the struggle. For at the proper time you will reap a reward.