Earlier today I posted these pictures and caption on Instagram:
The last two mornings I’ve had late clients which has allowed Pepper and I the time to hang out together before the day gets started. This morning we enjoyed the cooler temps with breakfast/coffee on the side patio. She said, “It’s like we’re at a hotel.” ❤️ Mornings really are my favorite times with her. I often get nostalgic for my maternity leave when it was just her and I on our own timetables; snuggling, listening to music, going on walks. I know I was meant to be a MamaBear; it fills me with more meaning and purpose than anything else. But I also know I was meant to train, coach, and lead people. Finding the balance between fulfilling both identities is challenging. Moms; (and Dads) ya feel me?
I love the reply from FearlessMom: “Well said! It’s all about recognizing and capitalizing on the season you’re in, and being intentional about how you spend your time together.”
Amen. Finding the balance between being a mom and working is no new challenge for anyone. Moms and Dads have been faced with the same “struggle” for decades. As much as I would want to stay home more often with Pepper, I know she’s learning so much more at school than she would at home with me. I feel fortunate to have had the opportunity to have such a flexible schedule the first two years of her life so that we could be together most every day. The time with our children when they are young is so short; a season that doesn’t last forever. Being intentional about how you spend your time together is a great reminder – even though it may be just a few hours each day, to make the most of it.
I know it’s hard. And let me just put the realness out there real quick; I realize that I described my maternity leave as somewhat dreamy above. For the most part it was wonderful. Don’t get me wrong; there were plenty of days when I wanted to lose my shit and counted down the minutes until Rick got home so I could hand baby off to him – but those days were few and far between and are hardly a memory to the great days we had together at home.
And while this morning (pictured above) was so nice and special for us to spend time together; let’s rewind to yesterday. It started off great; Pepper wanted to “stay in bed a little bit longer” so we did until 8am. And then I was reminded the housekeeper was coming in an hour. Fast forward to me begging her to help put her toys away before they come to clean the house; to which she did not respond positively. Therefore causing me to raise my voice, “PEPPER PLEASE PICK UP THE EGGS YOU DROPPED ON THE FLOOR AND HELP ME CLEAN THIS HOUSE!”
Cue: immediate tears and crying “I WANT DADDY!!”
Insert eye roll from me because #FAKENEWS – it was all a dramatic act and I didn’t feel one bit sorry for her.
Eventually she helped me pick up one toy and needless to say I couldn’t wait to get out of the house. But then the rest of the day was so nice – we went grocery shopping, painted outside, and baked cookies in the afternoon. These special moments are just as much for her as they are for me and I try to not take them for granted even when I get aggravated.
A few weeks ago when Pepper was being sassy at the grocery store a lady said the cliche line to Rick and I, “the days are long but the years are short” and in my head I was like, “lady, you ain’t seen noting yet.” And as annoying as it is to hear that phrase it really is so true. I don’t know if I have a point to this post. Perhaps it’s just to remind myself and all of us that while we may not have the opportunity to be around our children all day; to make the moments that we do have with them mean a little more. Easier for me to type that out than it is to implement it 100% of the time because even though I’m not at work, that doesn’t mean my work always stops when I’m at home.
I know the mom guilt (and dad guilt) can be real, but if you’re truly doing the best you can let that be enough. It’s just a season; a short one at that. Here’s to being more intentional with it.